The Day I Met My Guardian Angel

A short, popular fiction story

I was laying on the bathroom floor. My face pressed against the black-and-white tiles, the cool surface grounding me. The lights were off; the only light in the room was a soft glow from the moon. I found comfort in the moon — it represented the dark side of nature, the ever shifting phases reminded me that I would always be able to pick myself up again. But that night, not even the moon herself brought me an ounce of comfort. 

I’d love to explain what happened that night, but I can’t do it with enough accuracy that I would deem fair. So, I’ll start with the pieces I do know. I remember being curled up in my bed with the heavy white quilt pulled up over my ears. My head, like the cotton candy machines I loved as a child, spun so fast it became a blur too fast to follow. There was no space to think, to move, to breathe. Somehow, unbeknown to me, I made it down the small hallway and into the bathroom. I remember the cold tiles and the fluffy gray bath mat. I remember my cat’s meows and my dog’s barks through the closed door, but they were drowned out by the noise in my head. It wasn’t voices I heard, rather chatter and thoughts competing with one another. It was some mixture of negative self-talk, anxiety, sadness, and short clips from my life that repeated themselves over and over until it was too painful to watch them anymore. 

I had gotten to the turning point; the point on the rollercoaster that you aren’t moving but you know that there is no choice but to give in to the drop ahead of you. I wasn’t making it back to my bed, I couldn’t even spare the energy to move from the fetal position I held. I just closed my eyes and covered my ears with my hands, hoping that it would all stop if I could just finally fall asleep. The clock in the hallway read 2:58 a.m. when I dragged myself by it. 

That’s all the technical stuff I remember. All I remember about being awake, touching the ground of this world. Now, I know that sounds unbelievable. I don’t expect you to believe that I briefly left the earth that night; that my human existence paused for a period of time. However, I do advise you to stop reading if that’s the case. This story is not for you. This story could easily pass for science fiction or fantasy, something I made up in the broken state of my mind that Wednesday night, but I once again am emphasizing the truth to my story. STOP HERE if you’d rather parooze the columns of the newspaper or the fictional adventures of Percy Jackson.

I’ve done my research to try and piece together the happenings of that night. The closest I’ve come to a conclusion is astral projection, but that doesn’t sit right with me. It wasn’t an out-of-body experience; my soul was there as well as my physical being. I felt the warm sand between my fingers and toes, the sun wrapping itself around me. The grass underneath the soles of my feet was wet with dew, and the leaves of the trees were soft in my fingertips. Most importantly, the flame-red of her hair was real, the emerald-green of her eyes. Her hand was wrapped in mine, and her buttery voice floated in the air around me. I swear on my life this world was real, that she was real (though maybe my initial anecdote dissuades you from believing my life would be an important stake). 

I guess I had finally fallen asleep. The thoughts had quieted enough that my mind could rest, even just for a bit. When my eyes opened, there was no longer a tiled floor and a shaggy bath mat. There was a beach. I was laying on a green-and-blue blanket, the ground uneven underneath me. The sky was painted with hues of orange, pink, and red. Salt filled the air around me, drifting into my nose. The air was warm, enveloping me in a tight hug. In hindsight, I’m surprised that I didn’t feel alarmed. There was no concern about where I was or how I got there. Instead, I felt at peace. Calmness moved through my body in sync with the ocean waves. I was still laying in fetal position, but this time I didn’t feel frozen. I gently lifted myself up into a sitting position, eyes focused on the water. It was like nothing I’d ever seen before, no earthly beach could compare to this one. The sand sparkled like jewels, and the water rolled softly ahead. With each wave seashells were washed onto the shore, white, pink, purple, and brown. Majestic birds flew overhead, gliding in the breeze with open wings. They weren’t parrots, but they sported a rainbow of colors that glistened in the rising sun. Behind me, an expanse of trees stood tall and full with lush green leaves and deep chestnut trunks. There was nothing else for miles (or however they measured the distance there) and the horizon seemed never-ending. 

“Hi!” A heavenly voice said to my left. I turned to look, and was met with her soft, beautiful face. “Did I startle you?”

“Not at all,” I replied. “Who are you?”

“I’m Nova. I know you, but you don’t know me.” She smiled gently.

“How exactly?”

“I’ve always been watching you, Eve. Since the day you were born. You’re my human.”

“You’re not human?”

“No.”

“What are you then?”

“I’m sure you’ll figure it out.”

“Am I in danger? This seems like too calm of a place to be dangerous.”

“You’re in a safe place. The safest place. Do you not recognize it?”

“Am I supposed to?”

“You drew this place as a kid. It’s still in your childhood bedroom.” It all came flooding back to me. When I was younger, I had drawn this beach to escape a hard day. I had just been given a new box of colored pencils, still sharp and pigmented. By the time I was done, the pencils were jagged and short. There was not an ounce of open space on the page.

“It’s real? How is that possible?”

“Everything you create is real,” Nova said. “It’s just beyond your ability to see. You’ve got quite the imagination.”

“Everything?”

“Everything. Should we take a walk?” I nod, and take Nova’s extended hand. It’s warm in mine, her skin smooth and sunkissed. If everything that I ever created was in this place, I had no idea what crept in the trees or the water, what would rise in the air or approach me. I let her be my guide.

“How did I get here?” I asked. The curiosity blossomed inside of me, desiring the answers to the questions that popped into my head. 

“I felt like you needed it. It was hard to watch you last night.”

“You saw that?”
“Saw it, heard it, felt it. Everything you experience I experience too. I figured that I could use a break, so you needed it more than I did.”

“I’m so sorry. I wouldn’t wish those feelings on anyone.”

“Don’t apologize, Eve. You’re human. You’re complex. That’s what makes you who you are. Besides, everyone here loves you.”

“There are other people? Or … people-like beings?”

“Yes. You’re a writer. All of your characters reside here.”

“This can’t be real.”

“Can you smell the flowers?”

“Yes.”

“Then it’s real.”

I pondered this, in disbelief of everything that Nova was telling me. Everything in that place was an extension of myself, something that I’d created in every state and mood that I’d been in. I, there, could meet every version of myself. What existed in the trees was beyond what I could remember. I could only hope that I didn’t create any monsters when I was a kid.

“There are no monsters here,” Nova said. I forgot that she could hear my thoughts.

“Oh, good.” I said. “Have you met everyone here?”

“Yes. I’m sort of the leader,” she giggled.

“Do you talk about me?” 

“Everyone knows you here. Everyone loves you here. You gave them life.”

This thought filled me with joy and serenity. The world was all that I could imagine, a happy place that I’d go to when I meditated. It held everything I felt like I was missing on Earth; everything that was making it hard to keep going. I didn’t understand what I did to deserve to be there, to deserve the chance to be in that place. I wasn’t special, I wasn’t an outstandingly exceptional person that earned this kind of treatment. Nova said that I needed a break, but didn’t everybody? Why did I get to be there, and not the rest of the people laying on their bathroom floors and struggling to turn off their minds? I certainly wasn’t alone in that feeling, but it was hard to imagine that everyone else feeling that way had the chance to experience what I experienced. 

“Why me? Why did you do this for me?”

“I care about you. Is that enough of a response?”

“I guess. I don’t understand it, though.”

“Would you do this for someone?”

“Yes. Someone I love.”

“I’m just like you.” I still couldn’t figure out what she was. I didn’t think that I created her, even as a child. I wouldn’t have been able to think of someone so complicated and kind and not remember it. Her bright hair and angelic features were memorable, something that I certainly couldn’t draw and didn’t remember writing.

“Did I create you?”

“No. You’re getting closer though.”

“So I didn’t create you, but you exist because of me? Or do you watch other people as well?”

“Just you. I was created when you were, I just wasn’t born at 0. I don’t age.”

“That sounds like a dream.”

“Not for you,” Nova said, looking at me intently. “Enjoy your human time and your growing years. Your 20s will be incredible. You have so much love and joy ahead of you.”

“How can you be so sure?”

“That’s part of my job description.” She winked, and then gestured to a small patch of Lilies of The Valley. My favorite flowers. Their sweet smell lingered in the air, the sugary crispness dancing around me.

We approached the field, and as we got closer more things began to appear. Bright purple frogs, deep red mushrooms. Butterflies of all shapes and sizes. A small man, resembling the mushrooms, jumped up and down.

“Eve!” He exclaimed. “You’re here!” Before I could count to three, he had his arms wrapped around my waist. His smile was as wide as his face, and his eyes lit up.

“Nova brought me to visit. How are you doing?”

“Well I was doing great, but then you showed up so I can tell you with certainty that this is the best I’ve ever felt. I love you!” It felt weird, hearing this from a character who was a stranger to me. I’m sure he would come back to me, eventually, but for now I just relished in his excitement and appreciation for me. You drew him after you watched Alice in Wonderland for the first time. Mushroom man. I heard Nova’s voice, but her lips were unmoving. I guess she could talk to me through my own thoughts, too. I always thought that voice was my own.

“I love you too,” I told Mushroom man. “I’m so happy you’re real.” It felt good to express gratitude to someone. It was something I hadn’t done in a long time, as I didn’t feel there was much to be grateful for. I forgot that making someone else feel good brings you comfort of your own; fills you with joy just as much as it fills them. An involuntary smile crept across my face. Nova’s eyes met mine, and she matched my smile with a warm one of her own.

“We’re venturing further in. Care to join?” Nova asked the man.

“I’d love nothing more.” The three of us continued our journey, weaving through towering trees and ducking under swinging vines. In the trees there were all sorts of creatures — multicolored, patterned, and deformed. Kind of like a kindergartner’s drawing becoming 3-D, if you catch my drift. Weird looking insects dotted the forest floor, and plants that looked like they belonged on another planet were scattered all over. Am I on another planet? I wondered if Nova heard me this time. Not a planet, she thought back.

We reached an open field, filled with wildflowers. This was unsurprising to me, as their bloom is one of my favorite sights. In the middle of the woods stood a man and a woman, embracing. The woman had long, sleek black hair. She wore a light pink dress that reached her ankles, flowing off of her silhouette. She was leaning against her partner’s chest, his luscious brown curls flowing over his eyes as his head was tilted to kiss the top of hers. He wore beige pants and a white linen button down that resembled a pirate’s shirt. August and Violet, the happy-ever-after love story I had created. An Angel’s Whisper, I called it. The two were a masterpiece; my favorite characters to date. As I got closer, they looked up.

“Are you real?” Violet asked. She ran to me, embracing me as she had embraced August only seconds before. 

“I’m real. I’m so glad to meet you guys. You’re my most beloved story!”

“You brought us together, Eve. For that we will be forever grateful.”

“I’m in disbelief,” I told them. “You guys exist, you’re real people and I gave you a love story. Even in my wildest dreams this was never a possibility.”

“We can show you everything,” Violet said. “You can see the world you created. It’s amazing.”

“How long are you here for?” August asked. I looked at Nova. 

“Only time will tell,” Nova said. 

“Are you gonna tell me anything?” I inquired.

“You don’t need me to. You’ll learn in time.”

“What do you want to see first?” August asked. 

“Your home!”

Violet grinned and began to run towards a small green hill in the distance. I had written their home as one that you would find in a fairytale — built into the side of a hill and surrounded by gardens of flowers, fruit, and vegetables. Once I got to the door, she beckoned me inside. The floor was covered in moss, squishy under my feet. The wooden stools and table were worn in and held ceramic pieces that appeared to be homemade. A glass chandelier flowed from the ceiling, and suncatchers hung from the windows projecting rainbows onto the off-white walls. A pottery wheel sat in the corner, covered in gray-brown clay. Fruit-printed aprons covered two hooks, spotted with oil and other colorful stains. The decor is what you would expect in a garden cottage — vintage and busy. Artwork brightened the walls, made by Violet no doubt. Flowers covered almost every surface, and it smelled like fresh apple pie. 

“I wish I could live here,” I said. “This is my dream home.”

“You can, if you want. We’ve got extra space,” August joked.

“I might have to take you up on that offer. This is far too good to be true.”

As I looked around, I realized that I’d built a world that holds the keys to what would make me happiest. The nature I wanted, the love I wanted, the friends I wanted, the dreams I had. While there were parts of my brain that were dark and empty, there were also parts that were full of light and love. I had been so focused on the former that I forgot about the dichotomy within my own mind. It was easier to lurk within the darkness than muster up the energy to search through it for a way out. I was so familiar with the shadows that I didn’t know how to live life without them. The shadows became a part of me, replacing the places that sunlight once occupied.

Violet and August’s home reminded me that it was worth crawling my way out. They had given me the strength that I could not find within myself; the strength that I had buried so deep. Does this mean I’m ready? I hoped that Nova would hear me. Not quite yet. You’re much closer, though. At that, she gathered everyone by the front door. 

“Violet or August, do you have matches?” Nova asked.

“Yes, we’ve got them in the drawer by the stove,” Violet replied. She crossed the kitchen and began digging through the overpacked drawer.

“How about lanterns?” She followed up, this time looking at August. 

“Yes, we do,” August told her. “They’re outside by the firepit. I’ll grab them when we head out.” 

“Where are we going? I want to see more of this story,” I said, nervously. Up until that point, I had blindly followed Nova. Though I had created the creatures of the world, she knew it far better than I did. The prospect of lanterns did not seem very inviting. We had just gotten to this beautiful place, and I wasn’t ready to leave quite yet. 

“I need you to see The Depths,” Nova said. “And no, I am not going to tell you what they are.” 

“There’s so much more to explore here!” I protested. “Why can’t we stay here for a little bit longer?”

“You just asked me if you were ready. Don’t you want to be ready to go home at your own free will?”

“Even when I am ready I am not sure that I will want to go. Why can’t I stay here?” Nova, August, Violet, and the Mushroom man exchanged looks. I had forgotten he was there, as he trailed quietly behind just watching me. 

“Sweetheart, you’re always here,” Mushroom man said. “You just can’t always see us.”

“But that’s my point. What if I always want to see you?”

“You need to see The Depths if that is truly what you want.” 

I knew nothing about The Depths, so there wasn’t much more that I could say to back up my argument. I feared that more hesitation on my end would cause anger and disapproval among the others. This was the last thing I wanted; everyone had been so kind and welcoming. I didn’t want to ruin my acceptance. 

I nodded, keeping quiet. Violet and August seemed to agree with the other two, as they gathered the materials and led us outside. I had no idea what to expect, but the name did not sound inviting. It contrasted the warmth and softness that the rest of the world had. I so badly wanted to stay in the comfort of the sunshine and the lush greenery, far away from the bathroom floor I had so recently slept on.

“It’s going to be okay, Eve,” Violet said. She slung her arm over my shoulders, leaning her head into the crook of my shoulder. Her comfort brought tears to my eyes, threatening to spill onto my cheeks as we headed back into the woods. I tried to focus on my surroundings, noticing the colors on the swinging monkeys and the sweet citrus smell in the air. I felt every sense, grounding myself. We trekked further and further into the forest, until the canopy of trees was so tightly woven that light no longer filtered through the trees.

“This is The Depths,” Nova said. “You’re going to see and hear things that you don’t like. Just stick it out, we’re all here to help you.”

“Okay,” I said. Fear began to swell up again, but the group formed a semi-circle around me like a protective force. Though our acquaintance was short, I trusted each of them to catch me if I fell or cover my eyes if I couldn’t look anymore. 

The deeper we went, the louder the noises got. I heard my own crying. I heard the voices of my parents yelling, of my siblings fighting. The painful words of friends and the sounds of palm hitting flesh rang through the air. Sirens wailed and screams pierced the silence when it all quieted. More tears. 

When the noises stopped, I was in the middle of a full circle. Violet, August, Nova, and mushroom man stood close together, pressing their bodies against mine like a warm blanket. 

“One more part,” August said. “Then you’ll be done.”

“I don’t want to do it,” I said. “I can’t do it.”

“You wouldn’t be here if you couldn’t do it,” he reassured me. 

Next came the visions. Faces I never wanted to see again poked out from behind trees, lost pets ran in front of me just out of reach. Scenes replayed in the air in front of me like a projector on a screen. I re-lived my worst memories as I walked along the dark path. My worst fears appeared in thin air just in front of my face, vanishing once I walked through them. I couldn’t decide if the sound or the sight was worse, but I just wanted it all to be over. I squeezed my eyes shut, taking a deep breath and squeezing the hands of Violet and Nova. When I opened them, the sun shone its warm golden glow once again. I sat on a worn-down stump and the others sat on the ground around me.

“You made it through!” Mushroom man said, jumping up and down.

“Do you see why you had to do that?” Nova asked, the others quieting to hear what I had to say.

“To see that I could make it through?” I asked in response.

“To see that you could make it through, yes,” Nova asked. “To see that even in the darkest places in your mind, you have people to help you get through. That the sun still shines beyond the darkness.”

“You could’ve just told me that,” I said, wiping tears from my eyes that I had not felt fall.

“I needed to show you that you could do it,” she said. “I need to know that you can be your own guide.”

“Am I ready?” I asked.

“Do you think you’re ready?”

I took a minute to answer, reflecting on everything that happened. The last few hours? Days? Had been a whirlwind of emotions. I had been blinded but my eyes were opened wider than before. I finally climbed out of the hole I had been stuck in, but I was worried that I would fall right back when I got back to my life. 

“What if I’m not happy when I get back?” I looked at Nova, and she smiled softly.

“You can always come back,” she said. “You’re ready, Eve. I brought you here to learn, and to understand what beautiful life you have created. Do you see it now?”

“I see it,” I said.

“We’ll see you later, Eve. We’re always here.” The three others said in unison.

“I’ll be back. I love you guys.”

“We love you too.”

“Are you ready?” Nova asked.

“I’m ready.”

To my disbelief, a pair of ethereal, beautiful wings grew from her back. She lifted herself a few inches off of the ground.

“Nova,” I whispered. “You’re my guardian angel.”

“I told you that you’d figure it out.” Nova came closer and wrapped me in her wings. They were as light as feathers, but as soft as velvet. In a blur of colors, we lifted off of the ground. Just a few minutes later, she released me from her wings. I was back on the bathroom floor.

“Lift yourself up now,” she said. I stood up, and my reflection stood taller in the mirror.

“I’ll be here if you need me,” she said. In an instant, she was gone.

“My guardian angel,” I said to myself. “She’s an angel. My guardian angel.”